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Thread: Todays Chuckle
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09-13-2018, 06:16 PM #21
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09-14-2018, 12:46 PM #22
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An elderly Italian gentleman lay dying in his bed. He could barely make out the sounds of his dear wife of 70 years clanking around in the kitchen downstairs. Then he caught a wiff of his most favorite Italian anisette almond cookies. Could this be true? Is the love of his life preparing his most favorite cookies as a way of showing her undying love and compassion in his final hours? Mustering up his last bit of strength, he had to go and see for himself. He painfully pulled himself up and slid out of bed. Slowly but deliberately made his way to the top of the stairs. He took another deep breath through his nose, smelling the wonderful aroma of those fabulous cookies. Somehow, he knew he had to make it down the stairs. Hanging onto the railing with both hands and easing one foot after another, he is making his way down the stairs. Step by step, he gets closer to the bottom. Finally, after an exhausting time he's at the bottom. He pauses for another motivational wiff. MMMM, they smell so good. As he tries to make his way into the kitchen, he loses physical strength but is determined. Now on his hands and knees he makes it to the kitchen door. In front of him, he sees parchment paper on the table and counters filled with what must be dozens and dozens of his most favorite treat. For a moment, he thinks he has died and went to heaven. With his last bit of strength he reaches up and tries to grab one of those wonderful cookies when all of a sudden...
His wife smacks him on the hand with the spatula and shouts " HANDS OFF! Those are for the funeral!"
John2018 Silverado LTZ 3500HD CC LB 4X4 DRW Duramax/Allison
2019 Momentum 381M w/Full Body Paint
2016 Can Am Spyder F3 Limited Special Series
2017 Can Am Outlander 1000 XT-P
2016 Wrangler Hard Rock Unlimited
1997 Bayliner Capri 1950 affectionately named Skinnydipper
MSgt, USAF (Ret)
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09-15-2018, 06:49 PM #23
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Experience: The total of everything you didn't want to know in the first place.
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09-20-2018, 05:13 PM #24
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The quickest way to spoil a good discussion is to invite somebody who actually knows what they are talking about.(hmmm)
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10-04-2018, 01:40 PM #25
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Did you know that Yoda from Star Wars fame actually had a last name? It's Layhehoo...
John2018 Silverado LTZ 3500HD CC LB 4X4 DRW Duramax/Allison
2019 Momentum 381M w/Full Body Paint
2016 Can Am Spyder F3 Limited Special Series
2017 Can Am Outlander 1000 XT-P
2016 Wrangler Hard Rock Unlimited
1997 Bayliner Capri 1950 affectionately named Skinnydipper
MSgt, USAF (Ret)
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
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10-04-2018, 05:14 PM #26
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Ok after my family explained this to me, that's funny right there…..
(so im a little slow)
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10-04-2018, 06:08 PM #27
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Marriage is an institution of three rings.....
Engagement ring
Wedding ring and
Suffering
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10-05-2018, 11:51 AM #28
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2018 Silverado LTZ 3500HD CC LB 4X4 DRW Duramax/Allison
2019 Momentum 381M w/Full Body Paint
2016 Can Am Spyder F3 Limited Special Series
2017 Can Am Outlander 1000 XT-P
2016 Wrangler Hard Rock Unlimited
1997 Bayliner Capri 1950 affectionately named Skinnydipper
MSgt, USAF (Ret)
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
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10-09-2018, 12:05 PM #29
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So I'm sitting on the sofa with my wife watching tv. She hears the beep that she got a text message on the phone she left in the kitchen. She gets up to go read the text. The text was from me and it says "Bring me a beer and the bag of chips on your way back".
John2018 Silverado LTZ 3500HD CC LB 4X4 DRW Duramax/Allison
2019 Momentum 381M w/Full Body Paint
2016 Can Am Spyder F3 Limited Special Series
2017 Can Am Outlander 1000 XT-P
2016 Wrangler Hard Rock Unlimited
1997 Bayliner Capri 1950 affectionately named Skinnydipper
MSgt, USAF (Ret)
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
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10-09-2018, 01:56 PM #30
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Freezer Opens on Travel Day?
Today, 03:46 PM in Appliances