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Thread: Todays Chuckle

  1. #161
    Site Sponsor avf100's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by LV Naturist View Post
    Farting under the covers is no longer called a "Dutch Oven", it's a Covid test. If you can still smell it or taste it you're negative!

    John
    EEEWWWWW
    People keep telling me to follow my dreams...so I went back to bed

    2019 303rls
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  2. #162
    Big Traveler
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    Ole is a farmer in Minnesota. He needs a new milk cow, and hears about one for sale over in Nortdakota. (That would be North Dakota for you non-Scandahoovians out der.)


    He drives to Nortdakota, finds the farm and looks at the cow. He reaches under to see if she gives milk. When he grabs the tit and pulls. The cow farts. Ole is surprised


    He looks at the farmer selling the cow, then reaches under the cow to try again. He grabs another tit, pulls, and the cow farts again. Milk does come out however, so after some discussion, Ole buys the cow and takes her home.


    He gets back to Minnesota , and calls over his neighbor Jimmy Mooney, and says, "Jimmy, come look at dis ere new cow I yust bought. Pull her tit, and see vat happens."


    So Jimmy reaches under, pulls the tit - and the cow farts.Jimmy looks at Ole and sez, "You bought dis here cow in Nortdakota, din'tyah?"

    Ole is surprised since he hadn't told Jimmy about his trip. Ole replies, "Yah, dats right. But how'd yah know?"


    Jimmy says, "My wife's from Nortdakota."
    2018 Dodge 3500 6.7 Cummins SRW w/Aisin
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  3. #163
    Seasoned Camper
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  4. #164
    Seasoned Camper J Maguire's Avatar
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    Hard not to laugh at this one...

    https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMekUubo5/
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  5. #165
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    I yelled at my daughter to bring me the phone book. She told me that I was ancient and no one had phone books anymore, so she handed me her I-phone.

    Now she pissed at me because I broke her I-phone, but the spider's dead.
    Les and Sharon Bevil
    Austin, Tx

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  6. #166
    Big Traveler
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    A police officer called the station on his radio.

    "I have an interesting case here. An old lady just shot her husband
    for stepping on the floor she had just mopped".

    "Have you arrested the woman?"

    "Not yet. The floor's still wet."

    2018 Dodge 3500 6.7 Cummins SRW w/Aisin
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  7. #167
    Big Traveler
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    A flat-chested young lady read an article in a magazine that stated
    Dr. Matterhorn in Switzerland a could enlarge breasts without
    surgery. She decided to contact Dr. Matterhorn to see if he
    could help her

    Dr. Matterhorn advised her, "Every day after your shower, rub your
    chest and say, 'Scooby doobie doobies, I want bigger boobies!"
    She did this faithfully for several months, and to her utter
    amazement she grew a terrific D-cup chest!

    One morning she was running late, got on the bus, and in a panic
    realized she had forgotten her morning ritual.

    Frightened she might lose her lovely boobs if she didn't recite the
    little rhyme, she stood right there in the middle aisle of the bus,
    closed her eyes, and said, "Scooby doobie doobies, I want bigger
    boobies."

    A guy sitting nearby looked at her and asked, "Are you a patient
    of Dr Matterhorn's?"

    "Yes I am. How did you know‽"

    He winked and whispered, "Hickory dickory dock..."
    2018 Dodge 3500 6.7 Cummins SRW w/Aisin
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  8. #168
    Seasoned Camper RoJoSo's Avatar
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    Roadside Assistance

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  9. #169
    Big Traveler
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    The CIA had an opening for an assassin.

    After all the background checks, interviews and testing were
    done, there were three finalists: two men and a woman.

    For the final test, the CIA agents took one of the men to a large
    metal door and handed him a gun.

    "We must know that you will follow your instructions no matter
    what the circumstances . Inside the room you will find your wife
    sitting in a chair. Kill her."

    "You can't be serious. I could never shoot my wife".

    The agent said, "Then you are not the right man for this job. Take
    your wife and go home".

    The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun
    and went into the room. All was quiet for about five minutes. The
    man came out with tears in his eyes,

    "I tried, but I can't kill my wife."

    The agent said, "You don't have what it takes, so take your wife
    and go home"

    Finally, it was the woman's turn. She was given the same
    instructions to kill her husband. She took the gun and went into
    the room. Shots were heard one after another.

    They heard screaming, crashing, and banging on the walls After a
    few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there
    stood the woman, wiping sweat from her brow.

    “The gun was loaded with blanks" she said.

    "I had to kill him with the chair”
    2018 Dodge 3500 6.7 Cummins SRW w/Aisin
    2021 Reflection 303RLS
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  10. #170
    Big Traveler
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    John was on his death bed and gasped pitifully, "Give me one last
    request, my dear".

    "Of course John", his wife said softly.

    "A short while after I die", he replied, "I want you to marry Bob".

    "But I thought you hated Bob", she confusedly answered.

    With his last breath John replied, "I do"
    2018 Dodge 3500 6.7 Cummins SRW w/Aisin
    2021 Reflection 303RLS
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