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Thread: Todays Chuckle

  1. #181
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    Lovers help each other undress before sex. However, after sex,
    they always dress on their own. The moral of the story -- In life,
    no one helps you once you're screwed.
    2018 Dodge 3500 6.7 Cummins SRW w/Aisin
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  2. #182
    Rolling Along OurNewEra's Avatar
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    Which way do I go?!

    Who said navigating campgrounds is difficult?
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    Mike & Lisa
    Central Florida
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  3. #183
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    Olaf Svenson, out in his pasture in the Norwegian hinterland, took
    a lightning-quick kick from a cow... right in his crotch. Writhing in
    agony, he fell to the ground.

    As soon as he could manage, he took himself to the doctor. He
    said: "How bad is it Doc? I'm going on my honeymoon next week
    and my fiancé, Lena, is still a virgin - in every way."

    The doctor told him, "Olaf, I'll have to put your villy in a splint to
    let it heal, and keep it straight. It should be okay next week, but
    leave it on there as long as you can." He took four tongue
    depressors and formed a neat little 4 sided splint, and taped it all
    together... quite an impressive work of art.

    Olaf mentioned none of this to Lena, married her, and they went
    on their honeymoon to Stavanger. That night in the motel, Lena
    ripped open her blouse to reveal her beautiful, untouched breasts.
    She said: "Olaf... you're the first vun.
    No vun has EVER seen deez!”

    Olaf immediately dropped his pants and replied: "Look at dis Lena
    ... still in De CRATE!"
    2018 Dodge 3500 6.7 Cummins SRW w/Aisin
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  4. #184
    Site Sponsor SGT ROC's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Scott'n'Wendy View Post
    Olaf Svenson, out in his pasture in the Norwegian hinterland, took
    a lightning-quick kick from a cow... right in his crotch. Writhing in
    agony, he fell to the ground.

    As soon as he could manage, he took himself to the doctor. He
    said: "How bad is it Doc? I'm going on my honeymoon next week
    and my fiancé, Lena, is still a virgin - in every way."

    The doctor told him, "Olaf, I'll have to put your villy in a splint to
    let it heal, and keep it straight. It should be okay next week, but
    leave it on there as long as you can." He took four tongue
    depressors and formed a neat little 4 sided splint, and taped it all
    together... quite an impressive work of art.

    Olaf mentioned none of this to Lena, married her, and they went
    on their honeymoon to Stavanger. That night in the motel, Lena
    ripped open her blouse to reveal her beautiful, untouched breasts.
    She said: "Olaf... you're the first vun.
    No vun has EVER seen deez!”

    Olaf immediately dropped his pants and replied: "Look at dis Lena
    ... still in De CRATE!"
    OMG, now that's funny!
    Bob (retired) & Vicki
    Scuba Diver
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  5. #185
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    Luigi had just finished reading a new book entitled,
    "You Can Be THE MAN of Your House".

    He stormed to his wife in the kitchen and announced,
    "From now on, you need to know that I am THE MAN
    of this house and my word is Law.

    You'll prepare me a gourmet meal tonight, and when
    I'm finished eating my meal, you'll serve me a sumptuous dessert.

    After dinner, we're going upstairs
    And we'll have the kind of sex that I want.

    Afterwards, you're going to draw me a bath so I can relax.
    You'll wash my back and towel me dry and bring me my robe.
    Then, you'll massage my feet and hands.

    Then tomorrow, guess who's going to dress me and comb my hair?"

    His Sicilian wife Maria replied,

    "The funeral director would be my first guess".
    2018 Dodge 3500 6.7 Cummins SRW w/Aisin
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  6. #186
    Site Sponsor SGT ROC's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Scott'n'Wendy View Post
    Luigi had just finished reading a new book entitled,
    "You Can Be THE MAN of Your House".

    He stormed to his wife in the kitchen and announced,
    "From now on, you need to know that I am THE MAN
    of this house and my word is Law.

    You'll prepare me a gourmet meal tonight, and when
    I'm finished eating my meal, you'll serve me a sumptuous dessert.

    After dinner, we're going upstairs
    And we'll have the kind of sex that I want.

    Afterwards, you're going to draw me a bath so I can relax.
    You'll wash my back and towel me dry and bring me my robe.
    Then, you'll massage my feet and hands.

    Then tomorrow, guess who's going to dress me and comb my hair?"

    His Sicilian wife Maria replied,

    "The funeral director would be my first guess".
    My wife may not be Sicilian, but her reaction would be the same....
    Bob (retired) & Vicki
    Scuba Diver
    US ARMY Vet (Go Cav!)
    2019 Reflection 31MB
    2019 Chevy 2500HD LT Crew Cab Gasser

  7. #187
    Site Sponsor SGT ROC's Avatar
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    Two young guys appear in court after being arrested for smoking dope.

    The judge says, “You seem like nice young men, and I’d like to give you a second chance instead of jail time. I want you to go out this weekend and try to convince others of the evils of drug use. I’ll see you back in court Monday.

    “On Monday, the judge asks the first guy, “How did you do over the weekend?

    “”Well, your honor, I persuaded 17 people to give up drugs forever.

    “”Seventeen people? That’s wonderful. How did you do it? ”

    “I used a diagram, your honor. I drew two circles like this: O o.

    Then I told them that the big circle is your brain before drugs and the small circle is your brain after drugs.”

    “That’s admirable,” says the judge.

    Then he turns to the second guy. “And how did you do?”

    “Well, your honor, I persuaded 156 people to give up drugs forever.”

    “Wow!” says the judge.

    “156 people! How did you manage to do that?”

    “Well, I used a similar diagram,” the guy says. “I drew two circles like this: o O.

    Then I pointed to the little circle and said,

    This is your a@#hole before prison ..
    Bob (retired) & Vicki
    Scuba Diver
    US ARMY Vet (Go Cav!)
    2019 Reflection 31MB
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  8. #188
    Site Sponsor SGT ROC's Avatar
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    A little boy said, “Grandpa, can I sit on your lap?
    “Why sure you can,” his grandfather replied.
    As he sat on his grandfather’s lap he said, “Grandpa, can you make a sound like a frog?”
    “A sound like a frog? Well, sure Grandpa can make a sound like a frog.”
    The boy said, “Grandpa, will you please, please make a sound like a frog?”
    Perplexed, his grandfather said, “Sweetheart, why do you want me to make a sound like a frog?”
    And the little boy said, “Because Grandma said that when you croak, we’re going to Florida!”
    Bob (retired) & Vicki
    Scuba Diver
    US ARMY Vet (Go Cav!)
    2019 Reflection 31MB
    2019 Chevy 2500HD LT Crew Cab Gasser

  9. #189
    Site Sponsor avf100's Avatar
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    Overheard at the all you can eat lunch buffet......a woman tells her friend...
    Mary, I'm so proud of myself !....I finished my 14 day diet in just 2 days !
    Last edited by avf100; 08-12-2021 at 07:05 AM.
    People keep telling me to follow my dreams...so I went back to bed

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  10. #190
    Big Traveler
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    I'm sure a few can relate....

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    2018 Dodge 3500 6.7 Cummins SRW w/Aisin
    2021 Reflection 303RLS
    New to RV'ing since 1997

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