Real world 21BHE tongue weight?

[mekatzer]

This isn't intended to be a "tell me how far over I can go"... Looking to understand if I can safely pull a 21BHE with a nicely equipped dodge half ton. Now the long version:


Put a deposit down on a 21BHE last weekend, excited to get the family out in the woods more, but need to get something to pull the darn thing first. We're in the PNW and will likely cross the cascades ~50% of the time we hit the road. TV will also be a daily driver, so although the wisdom of the internet seems to be F350 and take all the other seats out, this will also be a daily driver that needs to navigate Seattle traffic and so I'm gravitating toward the Laramie/Limited (mostly for the air suspension) Ram 1500s with either the Diesel or eTorque Hemi, 3.92 axle, and the fancy tow steering knob thingey.

Payloads on the trucks I'm looking at range from 1,707 (hey a truck), to 1,504 (hey this is a nice truck) to 1,373 (heyyyyyy now. this is a truck?).

I'm estimating 550 lbs which covers 2 full size humans, 2 miniature humans with toys, seats, and room to grow, a dog, snacks, normal lightweight cabin stuff, and ~ 75lbs of buffer.

21BHE on the website is 4698 dry, 6,395 GVWR, so 10/12/15% tongues give me: 639.5, 767.4, 959.25 lbs, which is a pretty big range given the payload I'm trying to fit into. Dealer service dept says 10%, but they've got different incentives than I do.

So weight requirement range: 1189.5 - 1509.25, truck payloads 1,373-1,504 (1,707 if I have to but I really like the 1,504 one)

I'd like to think I can be judicious about packing and not load the truck and trailer to the max, but these kids will grow and I'm sure the temptation to "just throw that in" goes up when it's a big ole trailer instead of a packed roof box. The biggest variable to me seems to be the tongue weight, so I'm curious what folks are seeing for real-world weights with the 21BHE?

Also what gets worse the closer I get to payload capacity? Stress on axles? Loss of control?